We like to look for solutions in words. And then we think and discuss these words with the help of other words. And so sometimes mental spirals arise within people and between people that can, left to their own devices, entangle, intertwine, sometimes trigger, and lead… more or less nowhere. We can no longer get out of the loops and spirals. Or we experience how others talk a lot but say little: words revolving around words, with meaning long lost on the way. What did actually exist before words? Language as we know it today is a relatively young addition to evolution. In which "loops" were our ancestors trapped when they did not know language? What form of inner dialogue did they experience back then? We can no longer ask them. They died thousands of years ago. But one could imagine that they already reacted with compulsive behaviour, for example. Compulsive behaviour is not a disorder, but an attempt at a solution that gets out of hand and into a loop. For instance, the environment (or one's own subconscious) triggers a difficult memory, and the compulsive behaviour offers a kind of distraction through an obsessive fixation on an action so that the memory cannot surface into full consciousness. The lid is being pressed more firmly on the pressure cooker. The possible link between compulsive behaviour and language? One of the important language centres in the brain, the Broca area, is directly adjacent to the left primary motor cortex, which controls movements. This suggests that the first words initially described actions, i.e. were verbs, such as "eat", "drink", "hunt" and others that are for adults only. In the meantime, language has become more widespread and interconnected in the brain - otherwise abstract linguistic concepts would be inconceivable. But at first, language and action seem to have been very close. When a child comes into being, its development is a kind of evolutionary history in fast forward. And before its cognitive self develops, the emotional self does. The right hemisphere of the brain develops earlier than the left. So it will first express many things in actions, for example in movements or shouting. The inner dialogue is also likely to have contained images long before words came. If we want to connect with the unconscious, then images are probably more appropriate than language. So instead of talking things through in and out and still not getting to the point, it can be more helpful to build some inner, visual metaphor and then play with it towards the desired outcome. Metaphors are an important link between the realm of language and the realm beyond (or before) language. Symbols can then anchor in everyday life what has been elaborated in the metaphor. Maybe we have neglected the pre-verbal or non- verbal areas of the human being for too long. After all, language is always interpretation of reality, not reality. Language is not the honey in the jar, it is the label on the honey jar. Or, as the Polish thinker Alfred Korzybski put it: "A map is not the territory it represents, but, if correct, it has a similar structure to the territory, which accounts for its usefulness." The danger: We can get very far away from reality with language and not even notice it, because language remains coherent and "plausible" in itself if it only looks at itself and answers on its own terms. Or if we only surround ourselves with people who talk like we do. Language can create a certain way of looking at the world, which above all confirms our assumptions and prejudices. So language can separate us from reality instead of just describing it. This does not always have to be a bad thing. Language can be the safe haven to return to when things out there (and the associated emotions and bodily sensations) become overwhelming. The tendency to intellectualise everything, for example, is a typical survival reaction of intelligent children to traumatic experiences. You entrench yourself in the narrative you tell yourself about what is happening out there so that its emotional content does not hurt so much any more. This creates the feeling or illusion that you can understand and handle it, it creates a little area over which some control (or illusion thereof) exists. Like the compulsive act, this "intellectualising tendency" establishes a small creative space against the feeling of powerlessness. A spark of one's own creativity and self-efficacy can survive therein, like protecting a candle against strong winds. Perhaps things even get at least some "meaning", right or wrong. In any case, the cognitive self seems to put a protective cloak over the emotional self. The trap consists in one not coming back out of this bubble and indefinitely avoiding the non-verbal realms of the human being - for example, wordless feeling. Because at some point you may have to learn how to deal with what you have long been training to avoid. The fear of speechlessness can be strong at first when one ventures into the language-less realms out there after a long absence. Moreover, Western cultures have largely separated the body from the head. This certainly does not make it easier to re-establish the connection between the two realms this side of, and beyond language. Yet there are still these old parts in the brain that come from the archaic times before language. They have not disappeared at all. They are still in inner dialogue with our consciousness today. They still constantly "speak" within us, and to us, but not through words. And we may no longer, or not yet, have the right "ears" to hear them. And yet we wonder why we cannot reach all areas of the human mystery with language. What does this have to do with coaching? A lot. Therapy rubs off on coaching. Coaching adopts many approaches from the therapeutic field. However, coaching does not pursue a healing intention, but seeks to increase people's agency and self-empowerment so that they can shape their present and future in order to live more consciously, be more fulfilled, and increase inner wholeness. And we are witnessing an exciting development there. Psychological therapies were for a while very dominated by verbal communication. But in recent years, in various countries, they have started returning to areas where there is room for body sensations, emotions, activation (rather than chemical sedation) of deep emotional worlds, movements, postures, actions, mindfulness, inner images, symbols, metaphors, hypnosis, breath work, altered states of consciousness and rituals. Interestingly, these are things that shamans and medicine men and women would probably watch with amusement because they have been practising them for thousands of years without the interruption by mind-dominated, language-only therapy. There are forms of intangible efficacy beyond our rational mind. So perhaps we have come full circle, back to the roots? That's why in coaching, too, more and more attention is being paid to areas beyond language. Because solutions often lie in the shadow beyond language. And the unconscious and the body are always in the driver's seat when it comes to change, ignoring whatever nice sentences the mind produces. The mind lives in the illusion of being the ruler. German medical doctor and stand-up comedian Eckart von Hirschhausen once said that the mind is like thE spokesperson of the government: the last one to be informed of the government‘s decisions, but then in charge of putting them into words and sell them to the public. So you have to take on board the deeper layers, hardly accessible to language, if the change is to be sustainable. Otherwise things may soon jump back to their former state, if only by force of habit. In coaching, moments where somebody is at a loss of words can be a very good sign: something profound, that cannot be grasped yet, opens up, and something new can arise from that. Speechlessness can be the calm before the groundbreaking "aha" experience. More blog posts: • How does your first coaching session go? • The „inner child“ may not be what we think it is • The dark sides of high sensitivity • Highly Sensitive Boys and Men and their specific challenges • Complete list of blog posts